Cozy morning. 11 degrees out. Blurry eyed mom, dad and kids in the kitchen. Smelling my green tea brewing, kids saddled up to the counter awaiting their bagels being toasted. Christmas tree glowing its warmth breaking the gloom of the chill and dark outside. My 5 year old daughter says:
Mom I know where babies come from.
*long pause* grab anxiously for my tea although its not quite steeped enough, but I know I need something here.. anything to alert me for the following sentences and questions ahead.
“A boy puts a nut in a girls mouth. Seals it what a kiss, then she swallows it!”
I watched inception last night, so quite possibly I’m not awake yet. I burn the shit out of my hand on teapot as the words settle in. Damn, totally awake.
I look at my son who has the smirk of cheeky’ness and in slow motion I start to see his mouth open to re-correct her. (Might I add, there is a husband in the room, but we all know he may well have not been there) Now my son and I had “the talk” about two years ago. In this day and age and his ever wanting to know questions (mostly the science behind everything) it wasn’t hard to explain to him. But my 5 year old girl… I guess with all the “MTV- I’m watching ICarly and realized I’m pregnant!” shows, I guess it was inevitable for her to start wanting to converse on the subject.
Quickly chugging my way to hot, way to watery, not strong enough, debating something harder from the liquor cabinet, tea„ I stop Hunter as he says “Well not exactly…” And chime in and say, ” You’ve got part of it right. A nut is like a seed. And a Man (not a boy) willl give a Women (Harlee, that is a female over the age 21) a seed. The seed will grow in her belly bc she will water it and feed it like a plant until it grows into a big baby and is ready to come out. (At this moment I realize I’ve set myself up to explain where the seed goes in and baby comes out) Okay.. I can do this. She knows the proper names of her parts„ I’m just sooo not ready to go there yet with her. We’ve just been covering good touch bad touch.
Her eyes big! Hunter turns to her and says: ” BABY SEEDS!” Boys carry the Baby seeds! She loves this. Suddenly the bagels are set in front of them by daddy and Hunter says ” lets see who has more cream cheese Harlee!” (Hunter looks at me with his oldsoul eyes bc he knows he just saved my ass) and I think bc he just realized he really doesn’t want to have this conversation with his sister, nor I and daddy.
My husband, still silent with a smirk, kisses my cheek and tells us all he loves us and have a good day.. Bastard left me in the trenches alone.
I’m not sure if I said/did the right thing. I was thinking I had at least 2 more years before I went there with my daughter, but I guess with society knocking on your door to remind you and your children that sex is everywhere ( and not that its a bad thing per say) but there is a level of responsibility you hold having children exposed to TV, school bus, GLEE! Everything. I wonder if the “oh Hey, I’m 16 and think it would be cute to have a baby” kids on MTV had the conversation I have with my children at way to early o’clock.
I doubt it. I’ll probably google some things today for some backup on the subject. But its for sure a winter morning memory I will never ever forget!
My lovely girlfriend Ari shared with me this easy to use when time is fleeting, mom on the run blog/blurb. My phone is littered with photos that I hastily (ie: most often dont) post on other sites, so this seems amazing. This post is nothing more then a “on my way out to work but would like to get something more solid on here later so don’t give up on me just yet” post.